She Asked: "How Do I Know You Love Yourself?" The Truth About Self-Care (3 phases)

Years ago, a coach asked me a question that stopped me cold: "Do you love yourself?"

​My response was immediate. "Of course I do! I’m a Wellness Coach. I practice what I preach!"

​Then she asked: "Tell me, how do I know that you love yourself?"

​I started listing my "to-dos." I shower, I go for walks, I work out, I eat my green plate. But after I finished my list, there was a long, silent pause deep inside.

​In that profound silence, I realized: Self-love is a choice of how we experience our existence. It's not just about what we do, but the intention behind it.

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Conditional Care vs. The Vessel
​The question becomes: Do we engage in self-care because we are "fixing" something—like losing 15 pounds to be "presentable" for the camera?

​If our self-care is conditional based on reaching a goal, it isn’t love; it’s a transaction. In The Wellness Vortex 360 Habit Change Model, we understand Life Principle #8: The ultimate transformation is a three-step process: Behaviors, Beliefs, and Being.

​When you perform your acts of self-care, where are they truly coming from?
  *   ​Are they filters used to "fix" a perceived flaw?
  *   ​Or are they choices to honor the vessel that holds your life and mission?

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The Wellness Vortex 360 Habit Change Model
​My work is centered on the Wellness Vortex 360 Habit Change Model. This framework is built on three pillars of health: Nutrition & Food, Movement & Fitness, and Mindset (specifically Emotional Regulation). This entire system is powered by:

  *   ​15 Non-Negotiable Habits (the "what" we do)
  *   ​10 Life Principles (the "how" we think)
  *   ​3 Phases of Habit Formation (the "way" we evolve)

​Today, we're exploring those Three Phases of Habit Formation specifically through the lens of energy flow and why self-care matters for your true purpose and mission.

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The Three Phases of Self-Care
​To understand how we move from "doing" wellness to "being" well, we look at how your energy builds from the ground up:

Phase 1: The Foundation (Non-Negotiable Habits) 

This is the base of your Vortex. These are your Non-Negotiable Wellness Habits—the daily actions like movement, nutrition, and time management. In this phase, we aren't just "doing chores"; we are honoring the physical vessel that allows us to exist in this reality.

​Phase 2: The Momentum (Beliefs & Self-Worth)

 As you move up, your body becomes the Headquarters of your Vision. This is where your self-care meets your internal belief system and self-worth. We maintain our health so that our mission has the power to move. When the Leader (you) is fueled and believes in the vessel, the ripple effect of your work becomes unstoppable.
 

​Phase 3: The Mastery (Expansion & Something Bigger) 

This is the top of the Vortex. This is the space of profound inner connection—linking to something greater than yourself. At this level, energy must flow freely. When we neglect our self-care, energy becomes stagnant, showing up as tension or "stuck" areas in our lives. Phase 3 is about opening the vessel so completely that your energy expands naturally into the world.

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A Moment of Curiosity: Your Self-Care Quiz
​Take a quick look at your own "to-do" list for self-care. Ask yourself:

  *   ​Am I doing this to "fix" myself?
  *   ​Or am I doing this to honor my existence and keep my energy in flow?

​If you've found that your self-care has become a chore rather than an expression of truth and expansion, it might be time to look at your Non-Negotiable Habits through the lens of genuine growth.

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Ready to Expand?
​If you are ready to move beyond "fixing" and start fueling your true potential, I invite you to schedule a powerful conversation with me. Together, we will explore your personal roadmap through these three phases of self-care and the Wellness Vortex framework, deepening your connection with the world.

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On the Final Note
​True transformation isn't about the weight you lose; it’s about the Being you become. Your availability to the world and your mission is directly proportional to the amount of self-care and self-love you have already performed for yourself. Stop treating your body like a project to be fixed and start treating it like the Resilient Headquarters of an unstoppable ripple effect.

​To a Well World,

​N a d y a